June 2021 Newsletter

“I want to talk to you about something.” While on a walk with a friend she said this. I’m just saying, not much good comes from this line! It’s fine. It was fine. But at the time, I wasn’t enjoying it. This friend knew I had been upset with someone.  This friend encouraged me to forgive this person. I’ll be honest, I immediately got upset and defensive! Saying things like “you don’t understand.” “If this happened to you…” and “It’s done and over with. And I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”  There was lots of crying. Crying and walking is VERY hard. It’s like a whole new level of training! Just to make this scene clear.  But these tears? The anger? Defensiveness? It all came from sadness. This person hurt me. Therefore I deserved to be mad at them!! (That’s what I thought.) Then my friend said this: “what if this anger or conflict is holding some part of your ministry back?” At this time, I heard it and I disregarded it. Nope. Everything with Fresh Mercies was fine. I wanted to be done with this conversation. I wanted to walk and not cry. lol. I wanted to enjoy the headstones as we walked in the beautiful cemetery. (You didn’t see that coming did you?) Our cemetery IS beautiful and a great walking path. Can we just get back to that. Please? Reflection. A humble person. A Godly person.  Reflects.  Often when I pray, I am reflecting.  I believe in God. I believe in the word. When that is the case, you better be open to reflect. Let go of who you think you are! Because He is making us new. That’s what I want. I want to speak, act and live like He did. I also want a life of abundance. “Maybe this is holding back your ministry.” That one got me! Because as it turns out, I’m not ok with “fine”. This friend was right. This conflict stirred up so much hurt in me. Therefore it came out as anger. Hate, really. What did I do? I prayed. We talked. The best people are people that are good listeners. God? He’s the best listener I know.  Who also gives sound advice. Turns out.  :) I needed to apologize for my pride taking over and blocking out any chance for forgiveness or even listening to advice from a friend.  I needed God to help me to be strong and choose the right way to act. I also gave it to Him. And now we’re done. It’s over. Now, don’t think I will be calling up this person for a coffee date. No thanks. However, I’m not mad anymore. I want to let it go and...watch God work. He always does. I was unaware that I needed to release the anger.  The hurt.   “I want to talk to you about something.” Next time, it better be about food, shopping or a new TV series. Otherwise, I’m NOT walking with you! (Insert me pouting with my arms crossed like a toddler.)  Get a friend that will talk about hard things with you.  Coming from love and  with a kind heart.  It’s an added bonus when she also makes the best cookies in town! ;) 

Our war is not between people. Ephesians 6:12